The Mommy Debates
My staple source of entertainment these days is a debate club on a baby community. I have to say, it’s one of the best debate boards I have ever read. It boasts of all sorts of people - some honest, most intelligent, some troublemakers, negligible amount of stupid dimwits (most of the dimwits stick to the birth boards where they ask inane questions like what they should do about a baby that has been shrieking nonstop for 2 hours - fodder for another post). The cake however goes to the bunch that put up threads simply to incite controversy and then escape somewhere. Most often they have awful grammar to boot about (that is besides the point, but I just had to say it).
Last week there was one train wreck of the thread there. Somebody said Stay At Home Moms (SAHM) have kids because they are lazy and need an excuse not to work. Yes. Stop , go back and read that statement again. That poster must have been in a deluded universe separate from our own. Heck ! I go to work because I need a break not because I am not lazy :-P. My slumbering drama llama woke up and read the thread with great relish.
As I thought about this, it stuck me this argument is as old as the chicken and egg battle itself. Working moms think they have it all hard and tough because they work outside the home and at home. Stay at home moms think they are doing the bulk of work with kids, hence they are the busiest. Honestly I don’t even know why Moms do this to each other. I have heard every nonsense from ” Oh you work, so your kid isn’t important to you ” to “Oh you let someone else raise your child” for working moms. I have also heard the “Oh you let the husband slog and you take the easy way out” and “All you have to worry about today is what to feed your child” (Which honestly in my opinion beats all world problems that exist today :-P). Remember the Hilary Rosen-Ann Romney cat fight a few weeks ago ? Hilary meant the proper thing, her delivery train derailed somewhere on the way. Ann Romney has zero clue about being an actual SAHM , yet she put on a holier than thou attitude about Hilary. I kind of agree on Hilary with that one, what does a woman with millions in the bank and servants to cater to every whim and fancy know about slogging it out with kids?
But on the other hand, as long as these Moms do not graduate out of high school, my drama queen is fed enough. Burp :-D
Book Review - A Thousand Splendid Suns
This is an older book that I re-read. One I love to re-read a 100 times if I could :) There is something about this book that is so endearing and heart rendering though the subject it deals with is anything but.
The book deals with life in Afghanistan during the Taliban era and a little before that period. It
focuses on the women mostly - Mariam and Laila. The book starts off with childhood of Mariam and takes us through her journey of life. Dealing with an insecure mom and a father who does not want her, her childhood is taken away when she realizes she is an illegitimate child. A series of events cause her to be taken in by her father only to be married off to a man 30 years her senior. The author portrays her blind acceptance of her fate, even her numbness at being shunted aside for her inability to beget a child. When her husband takes on a second wife, she can only feel sorry and hide it inside. Laila: the second wife struggles with the aftermath of losing her love and being forced to marry Rashid to avoid being cast out. She shares a fragile bond initially with Mariam, one that is very hostile. The women then bond and become each other’s strength through the birth of Laila’s child. A series of circumstances then leads to tragedy, heartbreak, sacrifice and redemption for these women.
Now on why its awesome: It takes a special breed of sensitivity to portray and show the respect the author has shown for women here. It depicts everything a woman stands for : class, grace, strength, love, faith, sacrifice and general support system of the larger society.
Book Review - A Matter of Class
I have had some bad experiences with books that fall into the romance category. I needed something light and refreshing to read after a heavy dose semester and decided (albeit very uncertainly) to try out reading a regency novel by Mary Balogh. There is something about regency period that draws me to it , too much downton abbey effect I think ;)
This was a truly delightful read. I hope her other books are as good as this one, then Ms. Balogh has me a fan for life. It is nice to finally read a book that depicts the regency time period, has well rounded out characters, easy storyline, a heroine that doesn’t whimper and faint at the sight of an ant (roll eyes) or a hero who thinks forcing himself upon women and saying “I will have you before this week” is a sign of machoism.
The story is about two people who are forced to marry due to circumstances. The heroine ran away with her coachman (gasp!) and is now cast out from the respectable society. The same one that snickers and gossips in private but walks around in public with nose touching the moon. She has been scandalized and no man will come forward to marry her. The hero has been running around amuck and has gone a little crazy. His father has made a lot of money but was born with red blood instead of heroine’s father’s blue colored one. The two families are neighbors but pigs will roost in trees before they acknowledge each other’s presence. Due to these events, the hero’s father threatens to disown the hero if he does not marry the heroine (read: gateway to blue blood society) and the heroine’s father will have only pride left to eat and show off if she does not marry the hero. (on a side note: What does it say about blue blood who are willing to hawk their daughter to the richest guy in town?) What could have been a love-hate relationship is so off beat and funny. Twists and surprises and a truly delightful end.
Women in Books
There are times when the feminist in me gets up and roars quite load. (Side Note: Mention that word and my husband gets all mad. He says I should not bucket myself into a category instead just call myself the stubborn mule that I am ). On one of those days, I delved into books I’ve read and loved and picked out the best that focus on women and their lives.
Bye Bye Fall TV Shows
Beginning of Summer = End of season for most of the TV shows. I was cribbing to a friend just yesterday that all good shows are almost ending and that we won’t have anything left to see. Some of these shows are so special, I kinda grew up with them. I started seeing them back home and just continued here. Silly as it may sound, they are a thread between my life here and my life back home.
The Good Indian Wife - book review
Classes finished finally. I cannot believe I have just one blessed semester to go before I officially graduate. It has been a hectic 3 years , hopefully worth it all.
Summer is always fun since its officially break from the university. Somehow every summer I make plans to update blog more and never get to do it. There is something about being more busy when you have nothing to do than when you are swamped. I have so many books on the backlog that it will take me 10 summers to finish reading it.
I just finished reading a book by an Indian author. The Good Indian Wife by Anne Cherian. I have mixed feelings about this one. It could have been really good - the struggles of NRI vs loving home, the fears of a new bride in arranged marriage scenario. Somehow it got stuck between wanting to be a chicklit vs focusing on issues. It started off quite well, I could actually relate to the heroine’s fears about being married late (in a society that think the sole purpose of a girl’s life is to get married and anything over 25 is considered late ), her hesitation about the wedding, living life with a man unknown to her in a continent several thousand miles away. So far so good. It fell flat when it came to the hero. He is everything that a stereotype can fit - angry, arrogant, totally lost between two cultures, without virtue, two timer who can’t decide who to be with - his girlfriend or his wife. I am grossed out usually by stories of Extra marital affairs but this was a step beyond that. It was pure narcissism. She should have booted him out in the end not accept him. Whatever!
It definitely is not as bad as the other book I read - the dowry bride. That had banal dialogues, scenario-stretched-out-like-chewing gum- storyline, unbelievable scenarios and worse of all offensive, stereotypical portrayal of humans without delving into characters at all.
What is with Indian authors? Are there any good suggestions? The next on queue is Jhumpa Lahiri books.
Indian Cricket Soap Opera
I’m not a big fan of the game, I find it slow and boring. These days I’m hooked, more so for the drama of IPL than the game itself. It is * supposed * to be a gentlman’s game. It is anything but. My facebook wall resembles a virtual bloody battleground, people ready to kill each other over team loyalties. Even more juicy is the drama , where do we start ?
First there were the players who got caught in the sting operation. Really? You are all already overpriced in the auction. You want more? Maybe its silent rebellion for being hawked like cattle during the auction?
Then there was the SRK circus. I really don’t know the sides of the story but boy it sure makes good for prime time drama. If they really touched his daughter and pushed her around, I’m surprised he stopped at badmouthing. Me in his place, someone touching my kid would have sore body parts to nurse.
And now the Luke scandal. This one appals me a little. The RCB team owner, whose only claim to fame is a famous last name, claims the woman is a slut because she invited the player over to her room. I think I just did a time travel to the 1950s. Mr Mallya - some thoughts to ponder over - Women invites man into room != please molest me. Women invites / talks to man != Men being absolved of the crime. Is she promiscuous, maybe. That is her choice, as is her choice to go complain. What makes you the moral authority to comment on her choices? Because you are such a saint yourself? Pot, meet kettle.
Gentleman’s game apparently. * Roll eyes * . The husband is surely amused by my daily soap opera updates ;)
Summer Child
I’m hiding under the covers to write this blog post. Otherwise I risk the possibility of having the post written by a 16 month old who thinks all gadgets owned by mom are automatically his.
Summer is finally here. What a relief, it seemed like the cold weather was never going to end this year, what with the delayed spring rains and muggy weather even at the end of April. This has and will always be my favorite season. During childhood it was all due to the endless holidays, goofing around with the cousin army, mangoes and eternal lazing around. Summer in US is totally marvelous. The drive with open windows and breeze in my hair is worth any bad hair day I can have afterwards ;) The husband always teases me that all that remains is me sticking my tongue out while doing this, then I will be truly one with nature. I might just test that theory out one of these days.
Now that I have a little one, seeing this season through his eyes is such a delight. We go on walks every evening and I am slowly remembering what it is to observe every single thing around you. I had forgotten to stop and smell the roses, I’ve rediscovered it with the little darling. The other day while we were taking a walk, he let out this huge shriek in my ear. I was alarmed that he probably is hurt, turns out he was having a conversation with a bird that was shrieking overhead. These days his regular speech is an amalgamation of various animal sounds and I am somehow supposed to understand what he means. I am telling you this is tougher than any exam I have ever given in my life :P
It is true what they say about re-discovering your childhood. Who else would be this excited seeing a squirrel, pick up a wilted flower and gift it to mom like it was a million dollar gift, fall flat on grass and look at the sky with wonder, call out to the moon , send flying kisses to cats and at the end of it all give mommy a big fat hug?
Death of the smartphone
I was one
on of those beings: blissfully outside of all the smartphone madness going around. I had an old Nokia that did only what phones are supposed to do - make and receive calls. It is a different story I got treated like a dinosaur caught in time warp when I went to buy it :P. After being outside of the smartphone frenzy I finally caved in and bought an unlocked one since I was getting it for cheap anyways. I had not realized how addictive it can get. First I search for a thousand different apps on it. Then I realize the app repo isn’t enough so I get my nerd mode on, install patches and do tech geeky stuff. Spend hours together getting stuff on my phone and making it as close as it can get to replacing my right hand. Really! takes months.
And then, I go and put it in a diaper bag that has milk bottle. DISASTER. The milk spilled, my phone took a bath and now refuses to come up. I am back to using my dinosaur time warp phone. And honestly it feels better. I’m no more up until weird hours of the night trying to read websites on that miniature screen or checking email a million times or looking for facebook updates every 30 minutes. Peace finally.
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